the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
