I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
