can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
