sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
