i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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