she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
