this boner is exhausting
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
