Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
