the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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