Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
