i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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