Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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