she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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