What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So squirting runs in the family.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
