Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
