she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
