So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
