The maid of honor just puked.
one might say we're banned from that church
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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