you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
