don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
