Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
