you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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