we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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