Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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