you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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