how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
