Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
