is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
