Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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