My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
