yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
