Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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