This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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