whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
