He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
