I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
