puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
