I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
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