It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
