i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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