I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
