Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
