The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
