he puts the penis in happiness.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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