Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
