Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
