I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
