If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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