I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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