It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We're too hungover to prance.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
